


Sex Pollen Is A Myth

by seleneheart



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: But they both want it, M/M, Sex Pollen, possible dub con, ultimately consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:29:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22117132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seleneheart/pseuds/seleneheart
Summary: Parrish and Lorne encounter a suspicious tree during an off-world mission. They both end up getting what they want.
Relationships: Evan Lorne/Parrish, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard (implied)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 46





	Sex Pollen Is A Myth

"This looks remarkably like _Ailanthus altissima_ ," Parrish muttered to himself, not really expecting his military escort to either hear or respond. 

"What's all this dust though?" Major Lorne asked, waving his P90 through clouds of golden pollen.

Parrish thought it was rather pretty, with the sunlight catching the particles and making them seem to glow. He supposed that the major didn't see the romantic side of it. He shouldn't grudge Major Lorne's company though. Of the military officers on Atlantis, Lorne was one of the ones most tolerant of the scientists' need to explore. Still, he was surprised when his comment received a reply.

"Just pollen. No need to worry." 

"What?"

Major Lorne brought his gun up and sighted it at the dust, looking panic-stricken. Parrish was startled by the response but then realized that the man might have hayfever.

"Are you allergic? I have antihistamines in my pack, standard issue for botanists."

Lorne was behaving like they were under imminent attack, whipping his weapon around and searching for a defensive position. Parrish tried to restrain his snicker at the major's apparent attempt to shoot the pollen.

"No, I'm not allergic. But . . . what if it's that sex pollen stuff?"

Parrish lost his battle with the giggles. "Sex pollen?" he snorted, then got serious at the evil look Lorne threw him. “Pollen has nothing to do with sex.”

“And I thought you were an expert. Everybody knows that pollen is plant sex cells. So you can’t say it has nothing to do with sex.”

“All right! If you want to get technical, then yes, pollen is the plants’ method of _sexual reproduction_ , but not sex. Plants don’t have sex. It’s never been shown that pollen has any sexual effect, aphrodisiac or not, on any other species.” He turned away dismissively, hoping to end the discussion. "There's no such thing as sex pollen."

"Of course there is. Sheppard's team runs into it all the time. As a botanist, I'd think you'd read those mission reports."

Parrish had no idea how to respond to that. It seemed that 'don't ask, don't tell' also included 'don't see.' He'd read those reports, amused at Sheppard's creativity. "Uh, yeah, I have, but that seems to be a phenomenon confined to susceptible individuals. I thought it was up to the geneticists to figure that out."

"Yeah, it's weird how it mostly just affects him and McKay. But Ronon got it one time, so it's not just Milky Way humans."

"Well, perhaps what they found was more like magical dust, that only affected certain people." Parrish had no intentions of breaking Sheppard's cover, if Lorne was going to be willfully blind.

"Magic?" It was Lorne's turn to scoff. "There's no such thing as magic."

"Let me get this straight. You believe that a plant would make humans into raving nymphomaniacs, despite there being no evolutionary advantage for the plant to have any effect on humans at all, but you don't believe in magic?"

"So you're saying this pollen is like magic mushrooms?"

"No, I'm not saying that at all. And magic mushrooms aren't magic. They are, like peyote and other psychedelic plants, merely metabolizing the necessary nitrogen from the soil into an alkaloid. The fact that they might have entheogenic effects on humans is mere coincidence. I tend to think that the mystical experiences that supposedly result from ingesting these plants are more about wishful thinking than altered consciousness."

"You're really cute when you start talking about plants." Lorne grinned at him.

Parrish mentally rolled his eyes, and decided that he was the butt of some obscure military joke after all. "I promise the pollen won't inspire an uncontrollable urge to have sex. Can I get back to this Tree of Heaven? I'm fascinated how closely it resembles the Earth version and I need to take some back to study the genome."

"It's called Tree of Heaven? I think that proves I'm right. Heaven? Get it?" 

The major was in a juvenile mood this morning. Parrish wondered how he could get him to just shut up. "Actually the name derives because the tree can survive in all sorts of hostile environments, so the nickname was given because it appeared to be reaching for heaven no matter what the circumstances."

Hopefully that bit of dogma would do it.

"Ever played Seven Minutes in Heaven, Doc?"

"Hasn't everybody? Now, if you would stop with the random comments and let me finish up here, we can get back to Atlantis and away from the potentially life-altering pollen."

Lorne put a hand over his mouth and nose, ostentatiously breathing through the mask of his hand. Parrish resisted the urge to suggest that the major get out his breathing apparatus if he was so worried. He refused to indulge Lorne's delusions. But he would admit to himself that he felt a small amount of regret that there was no such thing as sex pollen. The major's sturdy frame and broad shoulders had starred in more than one of his late night fantasies.

"So why is this tree so important?"

"Are you kidding? It's been known in China at least from their earliest written records. It's one of the most pervasive and invasive species on Earth. It can survive nearly everywhere. If this one is genetically identical to the Earth version of _Ailanthus_ , minus ten thousand years of genetic drift, then that would demonstrate not only a cross-galaxy distribution of Ancient technology and culture, but Ancient species as well. And incredible insight into the world of the Ancients. And the first known example of exo-terra dendrology. Not that I'd ever be able to publish my findings."

Parrish paused for breath and Lorne’s eyes crinkled behind the mask of his hand. Evidently the major was amused, but the botanist didn’t get the feeling he was being laughed at. He wished Lorne would remove his hand so Parrish could see the dimples that appeared when he smiled.

The botanist turned back to his work, shaking some of the pollen into a specimen jar, and then carefully snipping a few of the leaves and rachis for preservation. When he looked up, he found the major was staring at his hands with an odd look on his face.

“What?”

Lorne looked flustered at the question. “Oh, you have really long fingers, you know. Really long.”

The look on Lorne’s face turned to something Parrish couldn’t identify but it made him blush. He turned back to his work, using his knife to carefully lift up a petiole and the underlying leaf scar. He would smear tar over the wound later to prevent the tree from being exposed to fungal or bacterial infestation.

“Your legs are pretty long, too.”

Parrish jumped, nearly slicing his hand open. Lorne was resting his hands and chin on his P90, looking relaxed this time. Pollen dusted his shoulders and helmet, making him look golden.

“You should be gawky,” the major continued. “But you’re mostly not. Long arms, too. Hmm, wonder if everything you’ve got is long.”

They had somehow slipped sideways into one of those alternate universes that McKay blathered about. There was no other explanation. Because Lorne was leering at him and there were very few interpretations for the major’s last bit of speculation. Parrish found himself blushing uncontrollably, a wash of heat flooding his face.

“You can’t . . . this is . . . what?”

Lorne unhooked his gun and laid it on the ground. The look in his eyes was clear this time. He wanted something. Lorne paced forward and Parrish found himself backing up until he collided with the tree.

“See, Doc, I’m imagining those long legs.” Lorne’s voice dropped low, husky. “How they would quiver if I dropped to my knees and nuzzled your crotch. Would they, do you think?”

“Uh, yes, probably. Um, no doubt. Quivering, yes.”

The major came closer and pressed himself against Parrish, who jumped, a small startled yelp escaping him when the major’s hand cupped his crotch. Lorne squeezed gently and Parrish found that his dick was starting to get interested in Lorne’s insanity.

“Is it long, Dave?”

“Ah, well, standard, I would think.”

“I’ll just check.”

Lorne slid to his knees, and Parrish frantically tried to catch his breath, but the major’s nimble fingers were already at his buttons. Parrish gave up on getting air into his lungs.

“Why are you acting like this?”

The major responded by pulling Parrish’s BDUs down over his thighs, leaving his very interested cock exposed. Lorne made an appreciative noise and wrapped his hands around it.

“It must be the pollen. I can’t explain it. I’ve got this uncontrollable urge to taste you.”

Parrish groaned as Lorne gave into his ‘urges’. The botanist decided that if the man was deluded into thinking that the pollen was making him a sex maniac, Parrish wasn’t going to argue with him. Not when he was getting a blow job out of the situation. They’d find a way to deal with the consequences later.

Lorne was evidently done tasting, and had moved on to sucking. Parrish admired the man’s technique. He was quite good at it. Almost too good. The tight wet warmth of his mouth and his frantically moving tongue were moving things along very quickly. Parrish felt his balls tighten up. Then Lorne brought his hands into play, kneading Parrish’s balls, encouraging them to shoot their load.

“Oh. Oh wow. Oh my god. Major. Evan.” His voice was getting pinched and he felt like he was trapped in an out-of-control train. “Ssslow down.”

The major ignored his plea. Instead he intensified the sucking, reaching his finger back behind Parrish’s nuts, making one long stroke from his anus, across his perineum and back. Parrish couldn’t stop it, couldn’t hold back. His orgasm barreled through him like the kwoosh of the Gate. He didn’t bother warning the major as it burned through him, fast and hot as lightening.

His legs were shaking and his head was spinning, but Evan wrapped an arm around him, and he slumped onto the major’s solid body.

“I gotcha.”

Lorne rooted around in his pack and Parrish wondered dimly what he was hunting for, but then decided he didn’t care. Whatever form Lorne’s madness took would be all right with him. He relaxed further onto the major, thinking that it was Lorne’s fault that he was so boneless, so Lorne could support him.

The major had apparently been searching for one of their rain tarps because he pulled one out one-handedly and awkwardly spread it over the leaves. His other hand was still busy keeping Parrish from falling over. The botanist admired the man’s dexterity, not really caring what the major had planned next.

Parrish didn’t object when Lorne laid him down on the tarp, unlacing his boots and pulling the BDUs the rest of the way off. His jacket was next and Parrish sat up to help Lorne pull his shirt over his head. Lorne sat back on his heels to remove his own jacket and shirt. Parrish didn’t need a flow chart to see where this was headed. 

“Are you going to screw me without kissing me?”

“You want kisses?” Lorne grinned at him, looking happy. He knelt between Parrish’s spread thighs and Parrish wasn’t embarrassed that he was naked while the major still had his pants on. The botanist was beyond caring about such trivialities. Lorne’s mouth was on his, tongue barreling into his mouth without leave. Parrish gasped and then moved his own tongue.

Lorne tasted faintly bitter, the remains of his come, Parrish guessed. But the major’s mouth was hot and assured. Parrish gripped as much of Lorne’s short hair as he could and tightened his legs around the major. His other hand fumbled for Evan’s fly, being much less graceful about it than Lorne had been. Then Lorne’s cock was hot and hard in his hand. He squeezed it, smiling into the kiss when Lorne groaned.

The major pushed him back again, and he went compliantly, watching as Lorne slipped out of his boots and pants. Evan delved into his pack again and retrieved a bottle of sunscreen. Parrish was surprised that his body didn’t clench in fear at the sight of something that was clearly about to be used as lube to open him up. Instead his legs spread further without his permission. His body wanted whatever Lorne had planned.

Using one hand to push Parrish’s knee farther up, Lorne employed the other to slide a slick finger into Parrish’s body without warning. Parrish didn’t care. He was lost in admiring the way Lorne’s heavy muscles bunched and flexed as he worked Parrish open. One finger was quickly joined by two and it didn’t hurt. Three burned a bit, but Parrish was intrigued by the way Lorne stuck his tongue into the corner of his mouth when he was concentrating. 

When Lorne raked his prostate, Parrish bucked, an embarrassing squeak emitting from his mouth. His body already felt liquid, open, ready to be invaded.

“I’m ready already. Now.” 

His voice was more of a needy whine than he would have liked, but it had the desired results. Lorne pulled his fingers out leaving Parrish gasping, his hips working, trying to thrust against the contact that had disappeared. The major was slicking his tool, making it glisten. Parrish was entranced. Lorne finished and jutted his hips out, showing off. Parrish grinned and licked his lips.

“Nice.”

He rolled over and stuck his ass up.

“Don’t want to be face to face?” Lorne asked.

“Not this time. Just want to get fucked. Hard.”

Lorne chuckled, moving into place. “I can do that.”

The major wasn’t kidding. He set his tip against Parrish’s loosened opening and the botanist barely had time to draw a breath before Lorne breached him, pushing all the way in with one go. The stretch and burn sent messages to his brain, but they were overridden by the feeling of having Lorne stuffed inside him. He wiggled experimentally against the invasion, groaning as nerves in his over-extended asshole sent jolts of pleasure to his dick.

Lorne took a few experimental thrusts, and then his hands gripped Parrish’s hips, manhandling him into the position that Lorne wanted. The major reared back, bracing his legs, and Parrish could feel the coiled power of the man buried inside him. He set his shoulders, ready to push back. Lorne didn’t disappoint, setting a fast pace and battering Parrish’s prostate with every stroke. Lorne grunted with every stroke in and his fingers dug into the soft skin of Parrish’s hips.

Parrish was vaguely conscious that he was yowling Evan’s name like some sort of cat in heat, but it just felt too good to hold back. Lorne slammed into him, pulling Parrish’s hips back and just grinding. Parrish felt Lorne’s dick jerk and spasm with the tender nerves of his anus. 

When it was over, Lorne rested against his back, panting. Parrish locked his arms, holding them both up. But he nearly tumbled over when a roughly calloused hand gripped his cock. Lorne teased him this time, slow strokes, fingers circling his slit. The major’s shaft was still buried inside him, and every time Parrish body tightened with the pleasure, he felt Lorne’s possession.

Lorne pulled them both up, leaving Parrish spread over his lap and forcing Lorne’s dick to stay planted in Parrish’s body. Lorne stroked him nearly to completion, and then backed off, running hands up and down Parrish’s thighs.

“Long beautiful legs, just like I imagined.” His hands shifted Parrish’s legs a little wider. “Long beautiful dick, too.” 

“I’ve got you,” he added when Parrish made a needy whimper.

Lorne kept on with his steady, purposeful caresses, bringing Parrish close and then stopping. The botanist tried to get one of his own hands in on the action, only to have it batted away by the major. Parrish thought he would lose his mind if Lorne didn’t finish. Sweat trickled down his back as he desperately tried to reach for the orgasm that Lorne continued to deny him.

“Evan, please. Let me come.”

A nip at his ear, and then a husky whisper. “So pretty when you beg.”

Parrish would beg all day if that’s what it took. He didn’t give a shit anymore, just wanted to come. “Please.”

“Stop struggling. Just relax into it. I’ll make it good.”

The botanist leaned back, panting. He had a hard time just giving himself over to Lorne’s hands, but the situation seemed to be out of his control. Lorne had shown that he had no intention of letting Parrish go until he was ready.

Parrish was hot, his bones were on fire, his skin was boiling. His insides were seething, but Lorne seemed intent on making him hotter. Parrish lost track of how many times he nearly reached his peak. He was melting into the haze of pleasure created by his partner.

Finally, Lorne whispered the words in his ear while his hand sped up. “Come on now.”

Parrish screeched, “Evan!” as his body tightened. He felt the spasms in his ass, still wrapped around Lorne’s softened cock. The orgasm kept going, drawn out by Lorne’s skillful hands. Parrish’s body arched and twisted, assaulted by waves of pleasure.

He was shaking when it was done, but Lorne’s arms hadn’t left him. They pulled apart stickily, but Lorne moved them around on the tarp until they could stretch out together. Parrish wearily let himself be positioned like a doll.

He buried his nose in Lorne’s neck, sniffing the major’s sweat. Parrish felt absurdly happy. His fantasies had finally come true and it was better than he had ever imagined it would be. 

“Are you ready to admit there’s no such thing as sex pollen?” His voice was teasing.

Lorne shifted, pulling Parrish in tighter. “Are you kidding? Why else would I violate about fifty regs? It had to be the pollen.”

Parrish sighed. “I’m too well-fucked to bother being insulted by that. But I promise you’ll pay later.”

“Mmm, I’ll be looking forward to it.” He nibbled on Parrish’s exposed ear, smiling when the botanist muttered and burrowed against his side. “Don’t forget the pollen.”

“But . . . .” Parrish sputtered, and then gave it up. After all, for all he knew, ‘sex pollen’ was the official military code word for ‘I’m fucking my scientist.’ It seemed that way, given the context in which it was used. Parrish was too relaxed and too sensible to argue about something that resulted in him being so well-pleasured. He made a mental note to collect as much of the pollen as possible. “Uh, yeah. Will do.”

Parrish felt his eyes closing, his lids too heavy to keep open. He didn’t mind the stick poking into his side beneath the too-thin tarp. Evan’s body was warm and the major’s arms were holding him tightly. He’d worry about everything later. He drifted into a doze.

**

Lorne grinned smugly as Dave's long body settled sleepily against his. He'd have to double check Sheppard's mission reports to make sure he phrased the incident properly. Parrish murmured something in his snooze, and Lorne ran his fingers soothing down the bony knobs of the scientist's spine, his grin turning into something gentler when Parrish snuggled closer. They would have to move soon. It would be cold when the star set, and neither of them were up for a long nap on the hard ground. It was comfortable now though. 

The lacy branches of the tree above them shifted in the evening breeze, and more pollen drifted down, golden in the late sunlight. Tree of Heaven. He wouldn't argue with that name. Maybe he could convince his new lover that the pollen was having a long-term and permanent effect on his behavior. He couldn’t wait to have a replay of their encounter, but next time he’d prefer it to be in a bed.

Lorne had laughed the first time he’d seen those mission reports. He’d have to remember to thank Sheppard suitably, although his commanding officer would never know how he earned Lorne’s gratitude. Everyone thought McKay was so smart, but in Major Lorne's book, Sheppard was the true genius.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Cover] Sex Pollen Is a Myth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28824000) by [Covers by Isabelle (isabellerecs)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isabellerecs/pseuds/Covers%20by%20Isabelle)




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